Johnny Depp Calls Himself a ‘Sucker’ for Falling in Love with Amber Heard in Rare Comments About Trial

Johnny Depp is looking back at his relationship with ex-wife Amber Heard, and his subsequent defamation case against her, over three years after a verdict was reached.

Speaking with The Sunday Times for a rare interview, the actor, 62, recalled how past relationships in his life shaped his views on “love,” and how that, in turn, affected his relationship with the actress, 39. (The pair met in 2011 and then wed in 2015, but they called it quits a little over a year later, before their divorce led to court battles in the years to follow.)

“So, what were my initial dealings with what we call ‘love?’ ” Depp posed to the publication. “Clearly obtuse.”

“And what that means is, if you’re a sucker like I am, sometimes you look in a person’s eye and see some sadness, some lonely thing and you feel you can help that person,” he continued.

“But no good deed goes unpunished, because there are those who, when you try to love and help them, will start to give you an understanding of what that malaise, that perturbance was in their eyes. It manifests itself in other ways,” Depp added. “And the interesting thing is that it is merely a sliver of my life I have chosen to explore.”

When Heard and Depp split in 2016, the Aquaman actress cited irreconcilable differences in a petition for divorce, and she filed a temporary restraining order against her spouse amid allegations of domestic violence.

Depp and Heard reached a $7 million divorce settlement that August, but in March 2019, Depp sued his ex-wife for defamation over a 2018 op-ed she penned for the Washington Post. In it, Heard detailed discrimination she said she faced in the wake of her domestic abuse allegations against Depp to “ensure that women who come forward to talk about violence receive more support.”

In November 2020, Depp lost his highly publicized U.K. libel lawsuit case against British tabloid The Sun for calling him a “wife-beater.” The court upheld the outlet’s claims as being “substantially true,” and Heard testified to back up the claims. In March 2021, Depp’s attempt to overturn the decision was overruled.

Speaking about his legal battles with Heard, and how they played out in the public eye, Depp told The Sunday Times, “Look, it had gone far enough. I knew I’d have to semi-eviscerate myself. Everyone was saying, ‘It’ll go away!’ But I can’t trust that. What will go away? The fiction pawned around the f—— globe? No, it won’t.”

“If I don’t try to represent the truth, it will be like I’ve actually committed the acts I am accused of. And my kids will have to live with it. Their kids. Kids that I’ve met in hospitals,” he continued, referring to daughter Lily-Rose, 26, and son Jack, 23, whom he shares with ex Vanessa Paradis.

“So the night before the trial in Virginia, I didn’t feel nervous. If you don’t have to memorize lines, if you’re just speaking the truth? Roll the dice,” Depp added, also telling the publication that he knew “none of this was going be easy, but I didn’t care. I thought, ‘I’ll fight until the bitter f—— end.’ And if I end up pumping gas? That’s all right. I’ve done that before.”

The Jeanne du Barry star also reflected on the fallout that came from the trial, especially tied to those within his inner circle. “As weird as I am, certain things can be trusted. And my loyalty is the last thing anybody could question,” Depp told The Sunday Times. “I was with one agent for 30 years, but she spoke in court about how difficult I was. That’s death by confetti, these fake motherf—— who lie to you, celebrate you, say all sorts of horror behind your back, yet keep the money — that confetti machine going — because what do they want? Dough.”

Narrowing the betrayal he felt down to “three” specific individuals that he said “did me dirty,” Depp explained, “Those people were at my kids’ parties. Throwing them in the air. And, look, I understand people who could not stand up [for me], because the most frightening thing to them was making the right choice. I was pre-#MeToo. I was like a crash test dummy for #MeToo. It was before Harvey Weinstein.”